Funny that the Advertising Executive was #1 in the Top 50 Bulls**t Jobs over here. I had a past as an “Ad Exectutive” before I started Blacksuits Creative, so of course I have a few things to add to this. Ad Execs are really just dressed up Baby Sitters, Advertising Nanny’s. They baby sit clients and burned out co-workers who crap their britches, whine and cry for no apparent reason other than sucking a teet for job security.

Job Description: Create perceived need/value for inherently generic or worthless products. The Money: Ground-level workers with writing ability move quickly to the top, immediately snagging low to mid-six figures; those who can spin mythological concepts surrounding quotidian household objects can command up to seven figures. The upside: Great expense account living, see your handiwork everywhere, the wonderful feeling of being creative and corporate at the same time. The downside: Must take meetings with the AFLAC duck. The dark side: You’re considered a dinosaur at forty.

And for kicks…How many Advertising Executives does it take to change a light bulb? (Not including the client that is asking why you can’t make a redish greenish hexagonish shaped light bulb out of baby seal skins, dinosaur bones and paper mache for a Tuesday 8:17 am corporate arse and tit sucking).The answer is Ten. 3 to “ideate” an innovative strategy to insert and turn the bulb, 1 to break the all the bulbs in the process, 1 to determine the “stratetigic” value of actually changing the bulb. 1 to scream and yell (delegate) that the bulb turners are doing it wrong, 1 to argue how to “synergize” the wattage of the bulb, 1 to “strengthen collaborative relationships” meaning, kiss the client arse, lie to them and get them drunk. 1 to decide that “flame torches” are “vintage” and more “engaging” than electricity. And finally 1 bi-polar has been to rip everyone a new one (after the bulb has been changed 25 times) because he/she hates light and who’s stupid idea was it to change the burnt out light bulb anyway.